Post-Op Blues

So I'm about 24 hours into recovery. Yesterday I had surgery and I got a septoplasty and an endoscopy of my sinuses. I was not really worried about the surgery at all. Raymond dropped me off at Robert Wood Johnson University Medical in Rahway, checked in, got in my robe, got blood taken, IV put in, watched some Saved By The Bell and Reg n Kel, then they wheeled me off to the "on deck" waiting area for surgery. As they strapped me on to the operating table, I was joking with the anesthesiologist and having a good time. The doctor said he was pumping in the medicine to make me sleepy and the last thing I remember was exclaiming how bad it tasted; which was weird because it was injected through the IV. And then, black out city.
I woke up to the sound of someone saying that I was in the recovery room. I couldn't move or open my eyes, but my mind was racing. I felt like I was in a terrible horror movie, where I was under anesthesia but my brain wasn't asleep and I heard and felt everything but I couldn't scream. Every breath I took felt like I was inhaling gasoline and it was burning my insides. They threw an oxygen mask on me but before I could even talk yet I started crying. I couldn't control myself because it hurt so badly, but my body still didn't function. I lay there so still, but blubbering, listening to everything around me, it was surreal. I knew I had to just wait it out and let the medicine wear off. So that's what I did for what felt like hours. When I finally got my mouth open I told them how much pain I was in and they gave me morphine, which didn't even seem to help. Finally my eyes opened and I lost it. My mouth was so dry I couldn't even speak anymore. I kept guzzling down ice chips and hittin' that morphine. I had complications during surgery where I swallowed a lot of blood and that caused me to feel sick and not "wake up" as fast as I should have. I had to stay in recovery almost 2 hours longer than I was supposed to. Finally I was taken back to my room where I had to eat and drink. Eating that turkey sangwich was unbearable. Every time I swallowed, I was choking because there was no saliva in my mouth. My mom came early because she was worried that I was in there so much later than I had to be. I finally got dressed, checked out and went home. 
I sat on my couch the rest of the day/night with a 12 ply gauze strip rolled up under my nose strapped from ear to ear with an ice pack on my face. YAY! I have been gushing blood from my nose ever since. The doctor said it's normal. My garbage can looks like I slaughtered an animal. My directions for sleeping were to sit up. BRUTAL. I would wake up every ten minutes to sip water because my mouth felt like sandpaper. Then, since I'm not a mouth-breather, I would stop breathing and wake myself up. Then every hour I had to pee from drinking 73 glasses of water. And, of course, changing my nose period pad in between. Eventually I gave up and had to lay down. It was heaven, the minute my head hit the pillow I was out. Then in the wee hours of the morning I woke up with blood pooled in my mouth and back of my throat, so laying down wasn't such a hot idea; they warned me! So actual sleep was not part of my agenda last night. 
All the medicine I have to take is so wacky too. I can't take one without eating, I can't take the other until 2 hours after I take an antacid, the next one I have to take only when the planets are aligned, it's ridiculous! Sheesh, can't a girl get a break?? Now I have to clean the house for Thanksgiving Jr. tonight, it's a tradition we have with our friends where a week before actual Thanksgiving, we go have a feast at Boston Market. I'm very excited for tonight. I love being with my friends and when we all get together, it's like old times. I hope I'm not a boob tonight and go to bed at like eight. 
Anyway, hopefully I won't asphyxiate on my own lack of breathing. I smell, I need to take a shower. One.

Hot Mama!